


100 Ways I Tried to Tell You (I’ll Love You No Matter What)

by waywardflower



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Ex-Friends to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gen, Healing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, but they are working on them!, i wanna focus on the boyfs, most of the other characters mentioned are going to be pretty minor, starts off... sorta platonic?, these children have Issues, with good attitude and hope and the knowledge they all still love each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 06:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12600728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardflower/pseuds/waywardflower
Summary: Before the Squip, the feelings between Michael and Jeremy were almost always left unspoken. Declarations of affection, trust, and care came easy, but their comfortable silence was far easier.Now more than ever, they avoid words. They avoid a lot of things, but their love hasn’t ended, only changed.The boys heal through one hundred silent “I love you”s.





	1. Getting Started

**Author's Note:**

> Not really for NaNoWriMo but sort of?? A challenge to myself, to see if I can write this and keep up the effort. Still working on that Human?Squip verse, but I needed a little something else bc we are in unhappiness zone rn oops lol.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before they can get anywhere, some things must be said. Gestures matter.

The first “I love you” after the Squip comes from Jeremy, which is only fair after the crap he’s put Michael through this month.  
  
He’s slumped in his hospital bed, picking at the rough blue cotton sheets he’s trapped under. Michael sits in the chair adjacent, headphones resting around his neck. There’s nothing playing, but the other boy taps his fingers to a beat only he can hear. They’ve been sitting in silence ever since Jeremy’s dad left to sign some release papers. Even Rich is quiet, seeming to read the tension between them.  
  
Something cold and uncomfortable clenches in his stomach–already he misses the Squip. He doesn’t know what to do, what to say, how to fix the 12 years that lie shattered between them. For a moment, Jeremy’s breath catches, and he thinks _maybe we’re better off apart anyway, i’ll never be able to fix this, there’s no point in trying_. Just then, Jeremy nearly gives up, then and there, on ever being friends with the boy next to him ever again. In that instant, Jeremy imagines an entire life without Michael, and there’s an yawning emptiness when he pictures Hanukkah, summer vacation, prom night, graduation, the first day of college. He sees a half-aborted wave in the halls, fleeting eye contact, gaps in his conversations with other people where he looks for a red hoodie and warm grin to finish the rest of his sentence–but he’s not there. He sees a cold, stone grave, and can’t quite read whether it’s his or Michael’s and can’t quite see the date, but can’t quite shake the feeling that whoever lies beneath died alone, missing someone.  
  
Terror seizes him. _I want to live my life with Michael Mell._ Jeremy can’t afford to not try to fix this.  
  
“M-Michael.” The other boy looks up, eyes wary. Air enters and leaves his chest, and he opens and closes his mouth helplessly. _Gestures matter._  
  
“I’m sorry,” deep breath.  
  
“For-for abandoning you, and not listening to you, and being- and- and being an overall terrible friend,” the words come faster now that he’s started, and Michael’s mouth is twisted down a little but there’s a little spark of hope in his eyes.  
  
“I know I said it at the play, but you deserve- you deserve a better apology. And- and thank you, for saving me. I don’t think- I don’t think I ever said that. You- you saved my life,” _oh look, rambling, isn’t that great_. Well, he’s not done, he still has a lot of things to say to Michael.  
  
“I still care about you, I still want to be friends but I know I don’t really deserve that right now. And you need time, I get it. But, I wanted to say I’m sorry, and I want to let you do whatever you need to. I’m sorry.” There, he’s done it for real now. He tries to reign in his gasping to a more manageable pace while Michael thinks, his hand placed on Jeremy’s blue-blanketed knee.  
  
“Jeremy, I…” Now Michael is at a loss for words. What a pair they make. A new fear buzzes down his spine, and it all hinges on the boy in red beside him. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m still pretty, uh, ticked off about you ignoring me. You, um. You hurt me. But. I want to forgive you. I still care about you, too. I… I want to be your friend still, too, or we’d never have been out of that mess. But. It’s going to take time. I need time to forgive you, but I think we can make it there,” Michael admits.  
  
Jeremy lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “That’s all I can really hope for,” he replies, relief leaking into his words. They smile.

_We can do this together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Apology  
>  2\. Truth about apology  
>  3\. Acceptance of truth about apology
> 
> they're officially working on it, dudes. R&R please!!


	2. Addressing the Timespace Continuum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to fix the fabric of their friendship in this new reality, they need time, space, and to um, continue.

The next I love you is… different. It’s been a rough two days since the hospital, and even though the doctors can’t really find much wrong with him, it stings to move. It’s a weird hurt, like a vacuum in the back of his head where he imagined the Squip to be, but there’s nothing that can really be done for it, because like all terrible things that plague Jeremy night and day, it’s all in his head.  
  
He’s been in pain for a while, and it’s been lessening, but the emptiness has been too much to go back to school with for now, so he’s been in bed, or eating, or watching TV, or missing Michael. He mostly tries to avoid thinking about his time with the Squip, but when TV gets boring and eating gets tiring and sleeping is too hard, there is not much he can do but think. Thinking is a new kind of hell now, and the past three months just flash through his brain over and over again, sending waves of shame and sadness with each review. Between accidentally brainwashing the cast to nearly sleeping with Chloe, there’s a lot of regret bouncing around his brain, and it’s hard not to believe the echoes of the Squip in his head.  
  
By far the worst memory is the expression of loss on Michael’s face in the bathroom.  
  
That’s the one that gets him up, throwing the blankets wrapped around him off onto the floor, and moving to sit at his desk. Before, he knew exactly what to say, what his best friend was thinking and how to fix it. It hurts that he does this, that they’re so far apart now that he doesn’t even know where to start fixing what he’s done to hurt Michael. Jeremy opens his laptop, and sends up a frantic prayer to Google, entering ‘how to earn forgiveness from your best friend’ into the search engine like some pathetic offering to the gods of hopelessness. Apparently those gods are feeling generous today, because the second link that pops up is a WikiHow article.  
  
How to Find Forgiveness with a Friend. It’s broken down into 4 steps.  
  
1\. Let some time pass.  
  
Well, he’s kind of doing that. It’s been two days, which before the Squip would have been like an eternity of silence. Then again, two days is only 3.125% of the nine weeks Jeremy spent ignoring Michael while he was under the influence. Is it still too soon?  
  
2\. Send an IM or email to your old friend out of the blue just to see what’s up.  
  
Uh, he could sort of do that. What should he say? The guide says to pick a friendly topic, that shows you’re still interested in their life, and see if they keep up the casual conversation. He’ll need to think more.  
  
3\. Grab the chance to ease into a conversation about the troubles between you.  
  
Jeremy had kind of already tried that. The idea of another conversation like this makes his palms sweat. He wipes his hands on his navy blue pajama bottoms, and swallows hard at the screen.  
  
4\. Try your best to resolve any issues between you and your friend.  
  
Their whole issue is that Michael had been abandoned. The guide says give him space, but fix the issue, ease into the conversation but don’t discuss the topic outright. They’ve done all the steps out of order and wrong, and it kind of makes Jeremy freak out a little more, but he takes a deep breath. The screen is too bright against the darkness of the room, so he turns his creaky old chair around and tries to think.  
  
What would Michael have done, to make Jeremy feel better?  
  
He’d come over, or call, or play a game, or send a gif of something cute. Okay, okay. _I want to live my life with Michael Mell._ He can do this, he can do this.  
  
After about half an hour of agonizing over what to send, Jeremy finally presses that little blue arrow. And instantly regrets it. He spends maybe five minutes tearfully wail-mumbling into his pillow, then his phone gives a little ping, actually five in succession. Nearly diving off the bed in his haste, he finally makes it to the desk and past the lock screen, his eyes flying over the black text in that mild grey bubble.  
  
First of all, there’s a list of reactions.  
  
>>jere dude why are you sending me puns at three in the morning  
>>more specifically why are you torTURING ME with BAD PUNS from my favorite MARLEY songs  
>>ahhHHHH a secret level?!? we gotta play it  
>>bwbihroehdusojh are you trying to kill me with these cute animal gifs cuz I’m just gonna warn you now that I can and will implode if that kitten blinks at me one more time  
  
The fifth and final text is a comfort–an invitation.  
  
>>hey, I know you’re not feeling great right now but when you’re up to it, do you maybe wanna come over for some AOTD?  
  
Jeremy can’t leave his buddy hanging, obviously.  
  
<<yeah dude!!! I’ll be back at school tomorrow I think  
  
>>pfft, not if you’re up this late. get some sleep, nerd :P  
  
<<thanks man :) see you tomorrow  
  
He plugs in his phone, his heart a lot lighter. Michael still answers texts. He still wants to hang out. He still cares. And now, Michael knows Jeremy does too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4\. sending a text about their interests, to remind them you’re thinking of them  
> 5\. inviting them to spend time with you  
> 6\. telling them to go to bed when it’s too gosh darn late and they gotta take care of themselves
> 
> gahhhhhh I love Jeremy so much I'm sorry you're probably sick of him  
> next chapter is michael's POV I promise  
> I want them to be happy but they gotta work for it


	3. a safe space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not invincible, you're not invincible, but with you I have enough strength to make it through the day."

Jeremy doesn’t get to hang out for three more days–something comes up and he has to stay home for… longer. His dad tries to be supportive, but still doesn’t quite understand what went wrong in the first place and Jeremy really, really doesn’t want to say.  
  
The something that comes up isn’t that bad, really. It’s just startling, and a little cruel.  
  
It’s only the disembodied voice of his Squip.  
  
And hey! It cancels out the thing that was keeping him from going to school earlier this week, so there’s that. The little vacuum in the back of his head is very much filled now!  
  
Yeah, it’s generally pretty terrible.  
  
Probably the worst thing about the Squip’s reemergence is the fact that everything seems normal. Two days after the voice in his head returns, he goes to school, sits with the same people he did with the Squip with the addition of Michael, and he hears that voice over his shoulder and doesn’t know what to do. The Squip doesn’t even say anything all that awful. He makes the same comments when Jeremy screws up as he always does. He’s forced to realize, to remember that the Squip hadn’t even been all that bad. That Jeremy, in the end, was overreacting, was giving in too easily, was ruining lives and friendships all on his own, really. It’s terrifying, and shaming, and he finds his voice shaking and fingers frozen at the lunch table.      
  
Christine gives him a Look (TM) and he just doesn’t know how to deal with them so he retreats to the bathroom. Rich follows him, carefully talks over the voice in his head, even admits to the same problem and they return to the table breathing easier. But. Jeremy still freezes up when the bell rings, because then he has to leave this safe-ish space and go it alone, and if his one safe moment was this hard how was he going to navigate the rest of the day without help?  
  
Michael is really great and ignores it when he freezes up during passing period after the disaster that is lunch. Well, he isn’t exactly ignoring it, but he’s not forcing Jeremy to talk about it. He pulls Jeremy to his feet and steers him through the lunch crowd and into a quieter space, hands braced firm but gentle on his shoulders.  
  
“Do you need to skip class?” Michael’s dark eyes hold him in place, searching. It’s kind of miraculous, but Jeremy doesn’t actually feel pressured by his gaze. In fact, the fact that Michael is asking at all warms him, and he finds himself calming.  
  
“N-no. I think I’m good now. Thank you,” he answers, letting out a sigh.  
  
“Alright man,” his best friend accepts, then looks down and coughs a little. “Um, hey, do you wanna come over after school today? We can play AOTD or catch up on homework or just… hang? It’s alright if you’re too tired, or busy or something…”  
  
“No, yeah, of course!” rushes Jeremy.  
  
Michael blinks twice at him, the corner of his mouth tugging up a little. “Sorry, was that an agreement or…?”  
  
“Uh, yeah, no I… wait,” he pauses. You did it again, idiot, comments his Squip.  
  
“Dude,” snickers Michael, cutting off the voice in Jeremy’s head. “Yes or no, you can’t say both.”  
  
“Both,” declares Jeremy, specifically to spite Michael (and the Squip, but he’s decided to ignore it now, so he’s not spiting it he just happens to be upsetting it and enjoying himself). Then, with a freshly thawed smile, “Yeah, I’d love to come over. See you after school?”  
  
“By my car,” beams Michael, bounding off to his chemistry class.  
  
Jeremy lets his gaze linger on his best friend, willing that cheerful warmth to stay with him, then turns toward precalculus. His hand slides into the pocket of his Squip-purchased hoodie without him even noticing until his fingers encounter something small, smooth, and square. He pulls it out, then grins. Michael had left a parting gift–a Hershey’s bar, stuffed discreetly into his hoodie while he’d been freaking out.  
  
Candy in hand, Jeremy enters the classroom. He can make it through today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7\. taking them aside so they can work through their emotions  
> 8\. joking around together  
> 9\. leaving candy for them to find later to cheer them up
> 
> did i say this chapter would be from michael's pov oops im sorry i lied. next chapter definitely is. i promise. also it's going to be freakin adorable i hope you're ready


	4. ooga chaka ooga ooga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm hooked on a feeling  
>  I'm high on believing  
> That you're in love with me _
> 
> Michael rides the high of _knowing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooo boy so I thought we'd step slowly into the gay but then I got high off michael's emotional high and it turned into a mushy mess
> 
> happy thanksgiving, today i am thankful that michael is happy and knows that his love is reciprocated
> 
> hold onto your hearts
> 
> sidenote a fun thing you can do is look at the order of the songs

Michael wakes up, eyelids stuck together and face sore from where it’s been smushed against his shoulder, and looks around his basement in confusion. He- he can’t see anything, the whole room is dark with weird off-color smudges where his memory says there should be defined stacks of things- _oh wait,_ he’s not wearing his glasses. Reaching out his right hand, he flails around for the first available surface, and lo and behold, his glasses are there, folded neatly and waiting for his renewed consciousness. He slides them onto his nose (but only after he stabs himself in the eye with them, _jeez,_ how long has he had these? he should be used to them by now), and blinks blearily around at the sharpened reality of the basement.  
  
His eyes are sticky with sleep. _What year is it, even?_  
  
Zombies groan quietly, pixelated characters bopping on his TV screen to the spritely background music of Apocalypse of the Damned. The screen is the only source of light. Outside his window the world is black, which he assumes means it’s late–then remembers it’s November and the sun sets at 4:30 now. Bleh, _winter._ He’ll need to actually find his phone for the time, then. It must be at least before midnight, though, because his moms haven’t come back from their date yet.   
  
He sits up in his beanbag, and the blanket he’s been covered in falls a little. _Oh._ He’s not wearing his hoodie. In fact, it’s folded neatly on the beanbag next to him. Michael smiles a little at that, because he’s not one to fold his hoodie but Jeremy is. Now that he thinks about it, he vaguely remembers sliding down in the red blob of beans and a fond voice reminding him to take his hoodie off so he didn’t get that weird trapped feeling in his sleep.  
  
 _Hm, Jeremy._ He’d been looking… not great, earlier today, but their little gaming session had seemed to cheer him up a lot. They’d even fallen back into a easy banter as they dealt re-death to the undead, a fact that now makes Michael literally tear up with happiness in his sleepy, comfy, squish-brained state.  
  
 _Okay, okay. That’s enough, brain. Let’s just see what time it is and if Jeremy’s still here, yeah?_  
  
Reluctantly, he leaves the warmth of his beanbag and blanket. Instead, he slings both arms into the sleeves of his signature hoodie, and fumbles for the lightswitch. The lights flicker on with a low hum, only barely distilling the darkness. _Hey, there’s Jeremy’s book bag._ So he’s probably still here. He still can’t find his phone, so he starts up the stairs to the rest of the house.  
  
Just before emerging into the soft yellow light of the hallway, he pauses. Singing. He can hear singing. It’s _Jeremy’s_ singing. It’s soft and quiet but it’s there and it’s adorable.  
  
His contentedness earlier had been a warm, muted feeling. The happiness that now bursts into his chest is still soft, but blazes hot in his smile, in the explosive laugh that he keeps very much tamped down as he swings the basement door the rest of the way open.  
  
Michael tiptoes quietly to the kitchen, looking in. Instantly, his heart leaps right out of his body, making frantic bounds toward Jeremy before he catches it and stuff it back in his chest where it belongs. Honestly though, he doesn’t blame it. _Oh my gosh, Jeremy._  
  
Jeremy stands in front of his kitchen sink, washing the dishes Michael’s moms had told him to take care of before bed. That alone would have been enough to make Michael smile. But Jeremy’s not just standing there. Those bony hips are moving with a _purpose._ He’s singing, and he’s dancing, and he’s washing Michael’s dishes and everything is just Too Much.  
  
Overwhelmed, he takes a step back into the hallway, pressing a hand to his heart again, just in case it decides to ascend to a different realm without him. _Deep breathing._ If only he had his phone… His heart stops for a second. _Wait._ Please say Jeremy did not use his Spotify for this impromptu jam session.  
  
 _Oh please no._ His spotify has many excellent, varied, confusing and well-composed playlists, but among them is one labelled _Jeremy_ and if his best friend opens it Michael is actually going to change his name and move up to Seattle.  
  
But then, The Jackson 5’s _I Want You Back_ ends, and Redbone’s _Come And Get Your Love_ starts, and Michael realizes that Jeremy, the absolute nerd, is listening to the Guardians of the Galaxy Mixtape (Vol. 1). After a sigh of relief, Michael turns the corner again and watches Jeremy do some emphatic hip swaying stolen straight from Chris Pratt himself, then kick out, bouncing with the music pouring out of his phone’s poor speakers. The enthusiastic performer that Jeremy is decides to use the sponge as a microphone and accidentally squeezes too hard, splashing the whole front of his shirt with water.  
  
Michael takes another break after that so he doesn’t snicker too loudly and give himself away. He watches Jeremy wiggle in a manner that sorta passes as dancing for just a little longer when he realizes his phone has been in his pocket this _whole time_. Face palming, he whips the camera out, ready to record–and then a new song starts.  
  
Jeremy fist pumps, mouths _yes,_ then starts swaying. What an absolute _dork._  
  
 _“Listen, baby…”_ Jeremy croons with Marvin Gaye, bopping with the beat. _“Ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough baby…”_  
  
Michael makes a split-second decision, and puts away his phone. He steps into the light.  
  
 _“If you need me call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far;”_ he sings. Jeremy whirls around and misses the next line, hand flying up to cover his mouth.  
  
Michael pushes through. _“Just call my name; I'll be there in a hurry–you don't have to worry.”_ He raises his hands and gestures to his best friend, a silent _are we doing this, or what?_  
  
What happens next is something Michael will forever consider one of the miracles of life. His partner rolls back his hunched shoulders, smiles, and joins in for the chorus.  
  
 _Oh baby there ain't no mountain high enough,_  
 _Ain't no valley low enough,_  
 _Ain't no river wide enough_  
 _To keep me from getting to you babe._  
  
They flail together, they bob together, they sway and point and twirl and at one point Michael even tries the running man, at which point Jeremy’s knees cave from laughing so hard, but all in all they have an absolute whale of a time. Halfway through they switch parts because Jeremy forgets the words, there’s shoving and very little dishwashing, but as they sing the harmonies and butcher the rhythm with their dancing, they feel the feverishness of healing between them.  
  
It’s a high like no other. It’s got Michael hooked.  
  
And he thinks Jeremy agrees, sliding in his socks with his sponge microphone and throwing Michael the sweetest smile he’s seen from his best friend in months.  
  
 _It is so good to be back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10\. letting them come over after a hard day  
> 11\. distracting them from their troubles with video games  
> 12\. taking care of them when they fall asleep  
> 13\. doing the dishes for them  
> 14\. not blackmailing them with recordings of their embarrassing dancing  
> 15\. instead, dancing and singing with them  
> 16\. making them laugh with your equally embarrassing dancing  
> ...  
> personal headcanon for this shuffled playlist: Fooled Around and Fell in Love then Hooked on a Feeling are next.  
> also. they never get the dishes done. Michael's moms are annoyed, but see the smile on their son's face and let him get away with it.  
> i have a lot of feelings. please comment and kudos :)


	5. i came out to plan a birthday and honestly im feeling so attacked rn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> michael's just trying to plan an event. why does christine always insist on studying?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaoooo can you tell i'm worried about my mandarin final and i need the practice? any mistakes are my own entirely, if y'all have input im down to hear it cuz,,, ya girl doesn't know how to study.  
> Stephanie Hsu speaks Mandarin! thats really cool. i thought. anyway.  
> also, they use pretty basic chinese talking to each other because,,,, mandarin is hard and mandarin III is a lie :)

_Bzzt._  
  
Michael looked up from his computer screen, abandoning his MS Paint masterpiece for his phone. Alas, but his shitty pixel-portrait of the substitute teacher will have to wait.  
  
It’s a snap from Christine. He opens it to find a shot of both Christine and Jeremy in the flower crown filter, peace signs raised. She’s got a little blep thing going on, the tip of her tongue poking out adorably, while Jeremy does a weird amalgamation of the duck face and ‘:3’ that just, _wow, hey, look,_ that’s Michael’s soul, leaving his body.  
  
Michael sees their smiles and instantly has to smother a huge grin. He even rolls his eyes at himself. _Whoah there friend, you might need to slow down,_ he tells the warmth blooming into his chest.  
  
He holds his finger over the snap again to replay it, and takes a screenshot. Michael adds it to a folder in Photos labelled ‘Jeremy Birthday Material.’ He’s freakin’ ready. Maybe. He should probably get some help first. And as much as his soul shrivels at the idea of talking to other people, he should really try to branch out more.  
  
So Michael slides into the seat next to Christine during their shared Mandarin class and starts to tell her about his project.  
  
“中文!” reprimands their teacher, reminding him, as usual, that he should be speaking in Mandarin.  
  
Michael sighs, waiting for the older man to leave before whispering to Christine again in English.  
  
“迈克尔,” she starts, using the name he’d been given freshman year to use inside the language classroom. It’s just the sounds of ‘Michael,’ but in the associated characters, which is usually funny, but it sounds suspiciously like Christine is about to make him tell her the whole thing in Chinese.  
  
Sure enough, “你应该说中文. 加油!” _You should speak Chinese! Come on, you can do it!_  
  
Groaning, Michael starts fumbling through what little Chinese he’s picked up through two years of half-listening in class. Ever since Christine started hanging out with them, she’s gotten this weird idea in her head that she should make Michael try harder in Mandarin III. He can’t even whine that her Chinese is better because she’s a native speaker–she’s not, she just genuinely tries in class. And gets like, free tutoring from her older sister who is a native speaker, but still.  
  
“你为什么不喜欢我?” _Why don’t you like me?_ It’s the closest approximation of ‘You are so mean and this is hard’ that he can make, because half-listening in class does not a fluent speaker make.  
  
“你今年的对话比去年的! 加油!” _This year your dialogue is much better than last year. You can do it,_ she states confidently.  
  
Another beleaguered sigh from Michael, but her energy and optimism is pretty infectious. “Uh, okay. 下,” he pauses. How many 下 does he use for two weeks from now? Oh well. He’ll just hold up two fingers to accompany his explanation. “下个星期事 Jeremy 的生日. 我想… 用画儿。我们会… 放画儿在… 他的盒.” _Two weeks from now is Jeremy’s birthday. I want to… use drawings. We can… put (???) the drawings on… his box._   
  
“他的… 什么?” _His… what?_ Christine is giggling. Okay. So Michael does not know the words for photo, decorate, or locker. He improvised!  
  
“Locker, okay? His locker. I want to decorate his locker for his birthday, which is two weeks from now,” Michael grumbles, then gets a little uncertain. “I also… want to organize a thing? For the day? Not like, a party. But something?”  
  
The teacher walks by to glare at Michael for speaking English again.  
  
“很酷! 我会帮你吗?” _Cool! Can I help you?_  
  
He nods, because he’s still confused about how to show agreement verbally in Chinese.  
  
“我不是到怎么… 做,” admits Michael. _I don’t know how to… do it._  
  
“没有问题,” Christine chirps, and they get to work planning. _No problem._  
  
Michael almost doesn’t even notice, but he breathes easier with Christine’s help. They’re like, a third of the way through the year, but everything went to hell so early. He feels like he’s burned out before they've even reached second semester. Even just the extra hands to write out his plans for Jeremy's birthday relieves a lot of pressure. So this is what it’s like to have more than one friend. Wild. He’s glad he started making the effort.  
  
Later, when he records Christine singing in Chinese with the rest of the class, it’s only half for Jeremy. He saves it to his memories, grinning as he adds a new album just for Christine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 17\. saving their attractive selfies for future reference  
> 18\. planning with a friend to surprise them on their birthday  
> 19\. branching out to connect with other people in a healthy and supportive manner  
> 20\. sending videos of your cute friend being cute because it will make them happy  
> ...  
> Jeremy's birthday is Will Connolly's birthday, November 23rd, because I like it and the timing in convenient.  
> Also, as you now know, this is all set in November! becaaaaaause idk, the fall play at my school always happens on November 3rdish soooo I figured the timing is probably around the same.


End file.
